Often I hear Christians say I hope the Lord comes back soon. I have very mixed feelings about this. I would love to see my Savior as soon as possible but I am not ready for him to come for me yet. I would love to be in heaven worshipping my Maker without any distractions, have no more pain, no frustration, only peace. However, I am not ready to go yet. I want my life to mean more than just going through the motions of life only for people to grieve when I die and a few generations later barely even remember my name. I don't want a normal life. So what if I get to go to heaven, what am I going to do in the mean time?
I recently saw a picture of Jesus with the one lost sheep. (Luke 15:3-7) I think some of us forget part of this story. He left the 99 in the open to pursue the one. Do you ever feel like one of the 99 or you the one he is pursuing? I think I am one of the 99. Because he heavily scearches after the one does not mean he loves me less. He is demonstrating he great love for me by searching after that one. There is a point we all Christians must realize his ultimate love for us and his desire for us to be at peace. When we achieve this then we are truly able to rejoice with the Lord for that one. Many of us go through our Christian walk thinking it is all about us. We want to know why things have gone badly. We want Christ to come back so there will be no more evil in this world. The simple fact is that it is not about us.
"I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine who do not need to repent." - Luke 15:7
I want everyone to know the unconditional love of the Lord. I do not care if there is a huge party in heaven when I get there. I believe that once you allow God's love to penetrate your heart that he slowly changes it into his own. I think mine is changing. I want only what God wants, to see that all of his sheep are found. I really understand this parable a little better now that I am a parent. God does not want to chose which child he will not spend forever with. It is like me saying, well these two are the good ones I will give up that one. How could a loving parent do that?
So if Jesus came back for his people, what about those that do not know the Lord like some Christians do? I do not want any of my loved ones (or those I do not know) to perish, but all to live in eternity with the Lover of Our Souls. Why do I want this, because God does. He sent his Son to die for you even though he knew you might not care, you would be selfish, angry, addicted, lonely, hurting. He knew that you would go your own way, do it yourself, shake your fist at him. But he knew that it was the only way for you to have life. I want to waste my life on a cause that I might never ever see won. I want to use everything to the glory of the Lord. Becasue he gave it all for me even though I have hated, been angry with him, did it my way, was greedy, selfish, prideful, judgemental, critical, defiant. He loved me anyway. There is no greater love that that of the loving Father.
So, until I reach heaven, I give my life for those that still have not found the love that your Daddy wants for you. Things will not be solved by government, laws, money, rules, it is only going to be done with the Love of the Father. Honestly, what is holding you back?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Thank heaven for 7:11?
Interesting. Have you even woke up at the same time day after day at the same time even though you do not have an alarm. In the last few weeks, even on vacation I would wake up and look at the clock and it would say 7:11. Now when I see that normally my head hits the pillow again. However after the third time it happened on vacation, I decided to ask God why. That day we went to Silver Dollar City in Branson. Russell took the kids and I went window shopping. I ended up getting lost and ended up in an "inspirational" art gallery. Well I decided I might as well go in. A photo of a man mending a tattered USA flag caught my eye. I recognized it as a print that we sold at the book store I worked at three years ago. I asked about it and she told me that it was based off the scripture 2 Chronicles 7:14. I realized that this is the same verse that Elizabeth read me right before we left for Missouri.
Fast forward about a week. I was listening to a sermon and a funny thing happened. The verse the pastor used was, you guessed it 2 Chronicles 7:14. But then the pastor informed everyone that he was going "to mess with us" and actually start on verse 11. (7:11) Hmmm. Coincidence, I don't think so.
"When Solomon had finished the temple of the LORD and the royal palace, and had succeeded in carrying out all he had in mind to do in the temple of the LORD and in his own palace, the LORD appeared to him at night and said: "I have heard your prayer and have chosen this place for myself as a temple for sacrifices. "When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
We want healing but how many of the ones called by his name are humble themselves and ask. We want our economy fixed, our land healed, we want no more sickness, no more pain inflicted on us. But keep in mind that this does not say the world should turn from their wicked ways and seek his face. Those called according to his name and purpose are those that call themselves Christians. When the church decides that they cannot do it, they do not have the answers but humble themselves and pray and seek his face and turn from their wicked ways, he WILL hear us and forgive the sin in our land.
Jesus blood was spilled for our sin. This verse implies that if there is poverty, pain, sickness, drought, etc, then there is sin by his people, the church. Maybe it is time that we humble our selves by asking for forgiveness for all of our country's sin as if it was our own. Not point the finger of accusation. (i.e."if they would stop having abortions", "if the right president would have been elected", "if people would stop spending more money"... etc.) Jesus he bore our transgressions for us, if we are called to be like him and pray for them, then the blood will heal our land. We must seek the Face of God in all we do and stop thinking that the right legislation or a bailout will work. It is only and will only be the blood of Christ that will overcome all sin. It is time we admit that we, the church, have made mistakes...
Fast forward about a week. I was listening to a sermon and a funny thing happened. The verse the pastor used was, you guessed it 2 Chronicles 7:14. But then the pastor informed everyone that he was going "to mess with us" and actually start on verse 11. (7:11) Hmmm. Coincidence, I don't think so.
"When Solomon had finished the temple of the LORD and the royal palace, and had succeeded in carrying out all he had in mind to do in the temple of the LORD and in his own palace, the LORD appeared to him at night and said: "I have heard your prayer and have chosen this place for myself as a temple for sacrifices. "When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
We want healing but how many of the ones called by his name are humble themselves and ask. We want our economy fixed, our land healed, we want no more sickness, no more pain inflicted on us. But keep in mind that this does not say the world should turn from their wicked ways and seek his face. Those called according to his name and purpose are those that call themselves Christians. When the church decides that they cannot do it, they do not have the answers but humble themselves and pray and seek his face and turn from their wicked ways, he WILL hear us and forgive the sin in our land.
Jesus blood was spilled for our sin. This verse implies that if there is poverty, pain, sickness, drought, etc, then there is sin by his people, the church. Maybe it is time that we humble our selves by asking for forgiveness for all of our country's sin as if it was our own. Not point the finger of accusation. (i.e."if they would stop having abortions", "if the right president would have been elected", "if people would stop spending more money"... etc.) Jesus he bore our transgressions for us, if we are called to be like him and pray for them, then the blood will heal our land. We must seek the Face of God in all we do and stop thinking that the right legislation or a bailout will work. It is only and will only be the blood of Christ that will overcome all sin. It is time we admit that we, the church, have made mistakes...
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Will I See You There?
So it has been a while a lots has happened and this one is going to be hard to write. In the midst of being sick, piling up medical bills along the way, and selling our house I have learned a very real lesson. My cousin died at the age of 22. It was an unexpected death and I took it especially hard not because we were really close but he and his family has changed people's lives with the goodness of God.
The fact of the matter is that none of us have control over our lives and none of us exactly know when our time here on earth might be over. I do rest on the fact that I know that it was not "God's will" or "God's time" for him to die. God is only good and does not steal, kill, or destroy (John 10:10). I believe Thomas (my cousin) was stolen from us. The devil in his web of lies would love for us to believe that it was God's doing but it simply cannot be. How can a God who is perfect love inflict pain on his children. That would be like me purposely wanting to hurt my children to a extreme level. Now, what parent in their right mind would do that? He is our Daddy in heaven and cares for us more than anything but unfortunately we live in a broken world thanks to that darn apple. Sin has left a foothold in our lives for the devil and he loves to wreck havoc on us and turn our eyes away from God's love.
The beauty of this evil act the the devil inflicted upon our family is that Jesus has already overcome. Now, this does not take the pain away but it gives us a Great Hope. I could not imagine trying to understand death apart from Christ. I am assured in knowing that Thomas knew Christ as his Savior and followed him. Does this mean that he did everything correctly in his short lifetime, probably not, but the way he lived his life was different and everyone knew it. Thomas was the kinda guy that didn't say a lot. Isn't it amazing that your actions speak louder than words. I am draw to people that have so much Light in them that they need not say anything but you know they have the Holy Spirit. Many other people must be the same way. How many people have a funeral procession that is well over a mile long (he was only 22)! My aunt and uncle greeted people for hours (about four and a half). Even though Thomas is gone, God is still not through using him to further his message of love.
I hope that no parent with have to got to sleep sobbing and wake up the next morning to realize that there child is still not there. Nor do I want anyone to go through the grief of losing a loved one. Most of all it is my hearts cry to know that the people I love here on Earth will be with me in heaven. My aunt said at the funeral, "make sure your spiritual arrangements are in order because we want to see you there with us." No other religion on Earth says all you have to do is believe and receive your Lord. Christ love is a gift, and I believe that Christ gave his best gift to us! "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift"- Prefontaine. I believe it would be dropping the baton if we were to not to accept that gift from God, not only for us, but for those who love us. The greatest thing about a gift is there are no strings attached, but you do have to open it. Open your heart to Christ and you will be overwhelmed by the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness the God gives. I am so glad I have, my life has changed.
http://www.gotquestions.org/prayer-of-salvation.html
The fact of the matter is that none of us have control over our lives and none of us exactly know when our time here on earth might be over. I do rest on the fact that I know that it was not "God's will" or "God's time" for him to die. God is only good and does not steal, kill, or destroy (John 10:10). I believe Thomas (my cousin) was stolen from us. The devil in his web of lies would love for us to believe that it was God's doing but it simply cannot be. How can a God who is perfect love inflict pain on his children. That would be like me purposely wanting to hurt my children to a extreme level. Now, what parent in their right mind would do that? He is our Daddy in heaven and cares for us more than anything but unfortunately we live in a broken world thanks to that darn apple. Sin has left a foothold in our lives for the devil and he loves to wreck havoc on us and turn our eyes away from God's love.
The beauty of this evil act the the devil inflicted upon our family is that Jesus has already overcome. Now, this does not take the pain away but it gives us a Great Hope. I could not imagine trying to understand death apart from Christ. I am assured in knowing that Thomas knew Christ as his Savior and followed him. Does this mean that he did everything correctly in his short lifetime, probably not, but the way he lived his life was different and everyone knew it. Thomas was the kinda guy that didn't say a lot. Isn't it amazing that your actions speak louder than words. I am draw to people that have so much Light in them that they need not say anything but you know they have the Holy Spirit. Many other people must be the same way. How many people have a funeral procession that is well over a mile long (he was only 22)! My aunt and uncle greeted people for hours (about four and a half). Even though Thomas is gone, God is still not through using him to further his message of love.
I hope that no parent with have to got to sleep sobbing and wake up the next morning to realize that there child is still not there. Nor do I want anyone to go through the grief of losing a loved one. Most of all it is my hearts cry to know that the people I love here on Earth will be with me in heaven. My aunt said at the funeral, "make sure your spiritual arrangements are in order because we want to see you there with us." No other religion on Earth says all you have to do is believe and receive your Lord. Christ love is a gift, and I believe that Christ gave his best gift to us! "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift"- Prefontaine. I believe it would be dropping the baton if we were to not to accept that gift from God, not only for us, but for those who love us. The greatest thing about a gift is there are no strings attached, but you do have to open it. Open your heart to Christ and you will be overwhelmed by the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness the God gives. I am so glad I have, my life has changed.
http://www.gotquestions.org/prayer-of-salvation.html
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Spring Cleaning
So my husband is thankful this year that we don't have any true spring cleaning to do this year. We have went through our house so many times, and got rid of everything that we don't use or barely used. I guess I hadn't really though about how freeing it was to get rid of our stuff until now.
Last June we decided that God was telling us to move so we packed up our things and waited, and waited, and three months later there were still boxes in our garage of stuff that we didn't use. We had about 25 boxes and decided that if we went without for a few months why do we need it. So, we got rid of about 1o boxes of stuff. We were able to give away lots of it, and also able to have a garage sale and make $200. I rather have the two hundred dollars and know I helped out some people than have boxes of unused stuff in my garage.
Over the years I think about all the things we accumulated that we taking up space and my energy. I say this because there is always sorting, putting away, and cleaning to do with your stuff. I think it is really funny how people think it is just amazing how I constantly keep my house cleaned. Truth be told, I don't. I only dust when I place something down and have fluff rise around it. I only mop my floor when my kids no longer slide in their socks on the kitchen floor- more like the sock stays put but the foot doesn't. Who honestly can be at home all day with three kids and homeschool and have time to keep their house spit-spot? But I always am asked how I do it. I think the simple answer is we don't have much stuff.
Sometimes I think I am depriving my children because between all three they only have a small three drawer cart and two deep shelves of toys. Oh, and books, lots of those. But I love to see them with out toys. They have wonderful imaginations I don't know if I would see if they did constantly have one in their hand. Even Gabe loves the games the girls play with a few blankets and a magical ribbon. An the glorious thing about it is they know before any holiday that they get to choose toys to give away or get rid of before they get to play with they new toys/gifts. This has taught them how to be generous and thankful all at the same time.
I am seeing how things can be a real distraction to true freedom. I always thought it would be nice to be able to have enough to give until my heart is content. I thought I had to have a lot of money or really nice things. I didn't realize that I had so much to give until I started to open my hands. I find it amazing that I have been able to give away a couch, two tables, and baby items, end tables, a washer in perfectly good working order. That is just the big items. I find it wonderful that the more I give the more I have. I am contantly cleaning out my kids drawers because they are too full and I can't get them shut. What a problem to have, especially because I haven't bought them clothes in two to three years. Another, freedom, I remember always asking the kids to pick up their toys and spending hours trying to do so. You don't have to deal with that if you don't have the stuff to argue about.
I find it interesting that my husband and I have very little, in fact by the world's standards we are considered poor by definition. But if we are so poor then how do we NEVER go without need, and are ALWAYS giving? We seem like we can't give it away fast enough sometimes. What a joy! Another cool thing about not having so many things is our house has become too big. I find it interesting that many people keep telling us our house is to small for them and there is only two of them. There are five of us and we can't fill the place. Now I don't say any of this to brag about what we have done but to show the work of the Father in us. It is very true-why worry or be anxious when the Creator of the Universe is taking care of you? I just pray that God will continually bless us so that we can continually bless him.
11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Phillippians 4:11-13
17Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 18Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 1 Timothy 6:17-18
7 You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” 8 And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. 9 As the Scriptures say, “They share freely and give generously to the poor. Their good deeds will be remembered forever.” 2 Corinthinans 9:7-9
Last June we decided that God was telling us to move so we packed up our things and waited, and waited, and three months later there were still boxes in our garage of stuff that we didn't use. We had about 25 boxes and decided that if we went without for a few months why do we need it. So, we got rid of about 1o boxes of stuff. We were able to give away lots of it, and also able to have a garage sale and make $200. I rather have the two hundred dollars and know I helped out some people than have boxes of unused stuff in my garage.
Over the years I think about all the things we accumulated that we taking up space and my energy. I say this because there is always sorting, putting away, and cleaning to do with your stuff. I think it is really funny how people think it is just amazing how I constantly keep my house cleaned. Truth be told, I don't. I only dust when I place something down and have fluff rise around it. I only mop my floor when my kids no longer slide in their socks on the kitchen floor- more like the sock stays put but the foot doesn't. Who honestly can be at home all day with three kids and homeschool and have time to keep their house spit-spot? But I always am asked how I do it. I think the simple answer is we don't have much stuff.
Sometimes I think I am depriving my children because between all three they only have a small three drawer cart and two deep shelves of toys. Oh, and books, lots of those. But I love to see them with out toys. They have wonderful imaginations I don't know if I would see if they did constantly have one in their hand. Even Gabe loves the games the girls play with a few blankets and a magical ribbon. An the glorious thing about it is they know before any holiday that they get to choose toys to give away or get rid of before they get to play with they new toys/gifts. This has taught them how to be generous and thankful all at the same time.
I am seeing how things can be a real distraction to true freedom. I always thought it would be nice to be able to have enough to give until my heart is content. I thought I had to have a lot of money or really nice things. I didn't realize that I had so much to give until I started to open my hands. I find it amazing that I have been able to give away a couch, two tables, and baby items, end tables, a washer in perfectly good working order. That is just the big items. I find it wonderful that the more I give the more I have. I am contantly cleaning out my kids drawers because they are too full and I can't get them shut. What a problem to have, especially because I haven't bought them clothes in two to three years. Another, freedom, I remember always asking the kids to pick up their toys and spending hours trying to do so. You don't have to deal with that if you don't have the stuff to argue about.
I find it interesting that my husband and I have very little, in fact by the world's standards we are considered poor by definition. But if we are so poor then how do we NEVER go without need, and are ALWAYS giving? We seem like we can't give it away fast enough sometimes. What a joy! Another cool thing about not having so many things is our house has become too big. I find it interesting that many people keep telling us our house is to small for them and there is only two of them. There are five of us and we can't fill the place. Now I don't say any of this to brag about what we have done but to show the work of the Father in us. It is very true-why worry or be anxious when the Creator of the Universe is taking care of you? I just pray that God will continually bless us so that we can continually bless him.
11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Phillippians 4:11-13
17Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 18Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 1 Timothy 6:17-18
7 You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” 8 And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. 9 As the Scriptures say, “They share freely and give generously to the poor. Their good deeds will be remembered forever.” 2 Corinthinans 9:7-9
Monday, February 9, 2009
What is Love?
I thought since this week could be consider the week of love (because Valentine's Day is this Saturday) that is what I would write about. I have been thinking a lot about how I have encountered love. I am so in love with my husband of six years. We have been together for almost 12 years and I love him more now than ever. Every year I wonder how I could love him more but yet it still happens. Love is such an interesting emotion and decision.
I say decision because I also believe love is a choice. When my husband married me he made a choice to love me no matter what and I did the same. This doesn't not mean that we have been happy all of our time together nor does it mean that I have even liked him all of the time, but it does me that I have never stopped loving him just because I didn't feel like it. We have been through many things and I do believe if we had not been committed to our decision then we would not be together now.
I remember when I was pregnant with our first child how concerned he seemed about everything I was doing. I became even more aware of this after she was born. When I was having heart problems and he had to call an ambulance, I had to finally look at him and ask him why he was so concerned now? (Meaning it was more than before we were married.) We both experienced difficulties with my health before but something had changed and I missed it somewhere along the way. He told me that it had changed, that he had more invested in me now. Wow, I didn't know I was an investment. I wasn't really sure how to take that. Did he mean that he wanted to make sure he was going to get paid his dividends or that he was concerned about his benefits? No, he told me that now that we were married and had a child together that he could not imagine life without me. He had invested more of himself and more of his heart into me.
This was a very foreign perspective for me because I really didn't see how I was something worth investing in. After all, he was a great guy and there are many more women out there that are more beautiful, smarter, more athletic, nicer, more patient, than me. He could be with who ever he wanted and maybe I am a bit bias but think that he wouldn't have any trouble finding someone else to love him. I never really understood why he choose me. I find it funny that after I shared this with him that he thought the same thing [about himself].
I have realized in the last couple years that when I see myself from my husbands perspective and my heavenly Father's perspective that I see love in a different light. I could never explain to my husband how much I love him. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and am brought to tears just thinking about it. Sometimes I feel like I can never get close enough to him but want to more and more. All throughout my day, I see glimpses of his love for me. In my children, my house, gifts, him desiring for me to stay at home, his calls, and the list goes on. I have realized that our marriage is also a glimpse (be it a very small glimpse) into how much God loves me.
I then think about how I feel for my husband, or my children, or even myself and I start to see what the Father sees. He loves me even more that any of those loves put together. He wants me to be close to him but he can't quite get close enough. He loves me so much he was willing to allow his only Son to die for me. I think I will never be able to grasp that. I realize that my love pales in comparison to his love. I would never think of allowing one of my children or my husband to die for someone that might not even care. Thus, the reason I desire to love him back as much as possible.
Somewhere along the line I realized that God has a lot invested in me. Much like my husband, but even more so. He does not care about how many times I go to church, how much I donate to charity, how many good things I do for others, etc. He just wants to love me and me to love him. After all he is God and he can do anything, he doesn't need me to do it, but he asks me too so that we can be together. He has put a lot into our relationship (the death of a Son) and just wants to be close to me and never let me go. Funny, I am starting to feel the same way. Just like my husband has taken time into loving me God wants me to do the same with Him.
I go to church, help others, read my Bible, etc, not out of an obligation, or out of guilt, or because it is the right thing to do. I do these things out of love for my God who loves me more than I can fathom. I love him more than life and want my every motive to be because of love. I used to think my God was someone who wanted me to follow the rules and tell people the right things to do or not do but the isn't it. He did not allow his Son to die because of the rules. He wants me and pursues me and chooses to love me even when I have not been the most lovable.
I think about it now and wonder how I could be more in love with my God, but I know each day it will grow as long as I chose for it to. When I look into my husband's face and see his love, his concern, his happiness, his sometimes disappointment, his silliness, I am seeing a glimpse of how God looks when he looks at me. Love is an amazingly beautiful gift from my Daddy in heaven.
And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. -Ephesians 3: 17-19
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son to condemn the world but to save the world through him. -John 3:16-17
I say decision because I also believe love is a choice. When my husband married me he made a choice to love me no matter what and I did the same. This doesn't not mean that we have been happy all of our time together nor does it mean that I have even liked him all of the time, but it does me that I have never stopped loving him just because I didn't feel like it. We have been through many things and I do believe if we had not been committed to our decision then we would not be together now.
I remember when I was pregnant with our first child how concerned he seemed about everything I was doing. I became even more aware of this after she was born. When I was having heart problems and he had to call an ambulance, I had to finally look at him and ask him why he was so concerned now? (Meaning it was more than before we were married.) We both experienced difficulties with my health before but something had changed and I missed it somewhere along the way. He told me that it had changed, that he had more invested in me now. Wow, I didn't know I was an investment. I wasn't really sure how to take that. Did he mean that he wanted to make sure he was going to get paid his dividends or that he was concerned about his benefits? No, he told me that now that we were married and had a child together that he could not imagine life without me. He had invested more of himself and more of his heart into me.
This was a very foreign perspective for me because I really didn't see how I was something worth investing in. After all, he was a great guy and there are many more women out there that are more beautiful, smarter, more athletic, nicer, more patient, than me. He could be with who ever he wanted and maybe I am a bit bias but think that he wouldn't have any trouble finding someone else to love him. I never really understood why he choose me. I find it funny that after I shared this with him that he thought the same thing [about himself].
I have realized in the last couple years that when I see myself from my husbands perspective and my heavenly Father's perspective that I see love in a different light. I could never explain to my husband how much I love him. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and am brought to tears just thinking about it. Sometimes I feel like I can never get close enough to him but want to more and more. All throughout my day, I see glimpses of his love for me. In my children, my house, gifts, him desiring for me to stay at home, his calls, and the list goes on. I have realized that our marriage is also a glimpse (be it a very small glimpse) into how much God loves me.
I then think about how I feel for my husband, or my children, or even myself and I start to see what the Father sees. He loves me even more that any of those loves put together. He wants me to be close to him but he can't quite get close enough. He loves me so much he was willing to allow his only Son to die for me. I think I will never be able to grasp that. I realize that my love pales in comparison to his love. I would never think of allowing one of my children or my husband to die for someone that might not even care. Thus, the reason I desire to love him back as much as possible.
Somewhere along the line I realized that God has a lot invested in me. Much like my husband, but even more so. He does not care about how many times I go to church, how much I donate to charity, how many good things I do for others, etc. He just wants to love me and me to love him. After all he is God and he can do anything, he doesn't need me to do it, but he asks me too so that we can be together. He has put a lot into our relationship (the death of a Son) and just wants to be close to me and never let me go. Funny, I am starting to feel the same way. Just like my husband has taken time into loving me God wants me to do the same with Him.
I go to church, help others, read my Bible, etc, not out of an obligation, or out of guilt, or because it is the right thing to do. I do these things out of love for my God who loves me more than I can fathom. I love him more than life and want my every motive to be because of love. I used to think my God was someone who wanted me to follow the rules and tell people the right things to do or not do but the isn't it. He did not allow his Son to die because of the rules. He wants me and pursues me and chooses to love me even when I have not been the most lovable.
I think about it now and wonder how I could be more in love with my God, but I know each day it will grow as long as I chose for it to. When I look into my husband's face and see his love, his concern, his happiness, his sometimes disappointment, his silliness, I am seeing a glimpse of how God looks when he looks at me. Love is an amazingly beautiful gift from my Daddy in heaven.
And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. -Ephesians 3: 17-19
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son to condemn the world but to save the world through him. -John 3:16-17
Friday, January 9, 2009
...But now I'm found
I just reread my posts and realize that I need to take my own medicine. I have been baffled the last few days at my daughter Elizabeth. You see there are times in the day where she just breaks down crying. When I ask her what is wrong she tells me she misses her Daddy. Now it is not like she never sees him or that it has been more than a few hours (last night it was ten minutes). However, Russell had been home right about two weeks for Christmas vacation. Now that he is back at school even a few hours seems is hard on her.
I wondering why we are not like that with our Father. He gives us more love, grace, and joy than any earthly father anyone could ever have. Yet, when we don't seem him we get mad or wonder why he has not shown up already. Unlike our earthly father, he never really leaves us. We can cry out, just like Elizabeth (and trust me this is sobbing) and he is there. He hears us and he desires for us to be with him.
I admit my faith has faltered and need to cry out to him again. I want to be that little child in his arms and know that I my cries are always heard. I need my Daddy! I have been lacking in joy and in some what of a funk because I have not turned to him when I should have. How patient our God is. Again, my sins have made it evident once again that I need Jesus. I need him. Without him I am lost.
This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. there is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace though the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:22-24
I wondering why we are not like that with our Father. He gives us more love, grace, and joy than any earthly father anyone could ever have. Yet, when we don't seem him we get mad or wonder why he has not shown up already. Unlike our earthly father, he never really leaves us. We can cry out, just like Elizabeth (and trust me this is sobbing) and he is there. He hears us and he desires for us to be with him.
I admit my faith has faltered and need to cry out to him again. I want to be that little child in his arms and know that I my cries are always heard. I need my Daddy! I have been lacking in joy and in some what of a funk because I have not turned to him when I should have. How patient our God is. Again, my sins have made it evident once again that I need Jesus. I need him. Without him I am lost.
This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. there is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace though the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:22-24
Standing or sitting?
The Lord told me many months ago that I was supposed to remember to “stand.” I didn’t know what he meant. I pondered on the scripture he gave me, ‘take your stand against the devil’s schemes’ and ‘you will be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.’ (Ephesians 6:11 and 13) I have been looking for the meaning and trying to be obedient to his Word. Although, I think I would have come to the revelation of the meaning had I actively pursued him, instead of thinking He was just going to give me the answer. My God is a merciful God and thankfully makes up for my laziness and ignorance.
This is something I found just last week. In Psalm 69:2 David writes “Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can’t find a foothold to stand on.” David is pleading with God about his situation, ‘I am suffering and in pain’ (v. 29). He cried out to God in prayer to rescue him soon but he feels like there is nothing to grab hold of or solid ground to stand on. (How many of us have ever felt like that?) But David praises his God even before he is out of that pit because he is sure of his salvation; he knows his Lord will rescue him.
The Lord gave me this today. Moses was leading his people out of Egypt when Pharaoh’s army started to approach. When all of the Israelites began criticizing Moses for bringing them into the desert to die “Moses answered the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.’” (Exodus 14:13-14) This really doesn’t make logical since to me since they are about to die and God says “don’t move!” But whose says God is logical? Even in Isaiah it says his understandings no one can fathom (40:28).
I feel backed into a corner. I actually sit in one right now and it is quite uncomfortable. I feel like I am in a pit of mud and keep sliding down each time I attempt to get out. I await for time when I can be delivered from my pain and hardships. I want answers. However, God has told me he gave me the answer months ago, but I did not have ears to hear him. He told me to stand. NEVER be afraid, ALWAYS stand firm for the Lord.
Now if I were the Israelites the first thing I would have done is to run! I choose Flight rather than fight. God told them to be still because he wanted to give them an answer. Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God.” He knows the best path for us to take, and it might not be our first instinct. We must listen to the Holy Spirit and leave the matter in God’s hands.
I have realized that I feel like I am stuck because of my unbelief. I keep trying to do things that will help when the Holy Spirit has told me to stand on my faith not on things in this world. There is nothing I can do right now but believe on the things not yet seen and know that my Lord will bring about that deliverance. I will do that by resting in His Word, sitting at the throne with Him in prayer, and not being afraid.
Praise the Lord for opening my eyes to the sins in my life that hinder God’s work in me. I would be nothing without the redemption and grace he so freely gives. I will forever sing His praises. For out of the mud he has washed me clean.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13
It is by faith you stand firm. 2 Corinthians 1:24
If you do not stand firm in you faith you will not stand at all. Isaiah7:9
This is something I found just last week. In Psalm 69:2 David writes “Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can’t find a foothold to stand on.” David is pleading with God about his situation, ‘I am suffering and in pain’ (v. 29). He cried out to God in prayer to rescue him soon but he feels like there is nothing to grab hold of or solid ground to stand on. (How many of us have ever felt like that?) But David praises his God even before he is out of that pit because he is sure of his salvation; he knows his Lord will rescue him.
The Lord gave me this today. Moses was leading his people out of Egypt when Pharaoh’s army started to approach. When all of the Israelites began criticizing Moses for bringing them into the desert to die “Moses answered the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.’” (Exodus 14:13-14) This really doesn’t make logical since to me since they are about to die and God says “don’t move!” But whose says God is logical? Even in Isaiah it says his understandings no one can fathom (40:28).
I feel backed into a corner. I actually sit in one right now and it is quite uncomfortable. I feel like I am in a pit of mud and keep sliding down each time I attempt to get out. I await for time when I can be delivered from my pain and hardships. I want answers. However, God has told me he gave me the answer months ago, but I did not have ears to hear him. He told me to stand. NEVER be afraid, ALWAYS stand firm for the Lord.
Now if I were the Israelites the first thing I would have done is to run! I choose Flight rather than fight. God told them to be still because he wanted to give them an answer. Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God.” He knows the best path for us to take, and it might not be our first instinct. We must listen to the Holy Spirit and leave the matter in God’s hands.
I have realized that I feel like I am stuck because of my unbelief. I keep trying to do things that will help when the Holy Spirit has told me to stand on my faith not on things in this world. There is nothing I can do right now but believe on the things not yet seen and know that my Lord will bring about that deliverance. I will do that by resting in His Word, sitting at the throne with Him in prayer, and not being afraid.
Praise the Lord for opening my eyes to the sins in my life that hinder God’s work in me. I would be nothing without the redemption and grace he so freely gives. I will forever sing His praises. For out of the mud he has washed me clean.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13
It is by faith you stand firm. 2 Corinthians 1:24
If you do not stand firm in you faith you will not stand at all. Isaiah7:9
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